The story was posted on Thursday by u/buckleup96
In the mother's post, she explains that she has a 2-year-old and a soon-to-be 5-year-old, and recently decided to move back to her home state partially because her own mother said she would help watch the kids so the poster could work.
Unfortunately, though, the grandma appears to have changed her tune not long after the move — and it's definitely been awkward.
The poster lives 5 minutes away from her family, so she tries to visit regularly
Or, at least she did until all of the drama started.
"My 2-year-old isn't a mean kid, but she's wild," the mother explained. "She loves to blow raspberries, and my mom thought it was bad behavior that she did that at my sister's [14-month-old] son."
In addition, the little girl often says "MINE!" in an aggressive manner whenever her younger cousin gets too close to her toys, which has led to some uncomfortable situations.
"She pushed him one time and will hold her hands up at him if he gets too close to her things sometimes," the mother shared. "Obviously, I correct her [when she does this] and in the instance of pushing, I remove her from the situation."
She's also taken her toddler away whenever she blows raspberries at her cousin, because it clearly upsets him, as well as her mom and sister.
But apparently, these interventions aren't enough.
The grandma doesn't consider the behavior to be typical "toddler stuff"
Instead, she feels her granddaughter is bullying her grandson and finds it all a bit disturbing. But according to the poster, her daughter really isn't as "bad" as her mom is making it out to be.
"My daughter only just turned 2, she doesn't really understand," the mother explained. "She isn't being vindictive."
"My mom also brings up the fact that my daughter is very vocal when she's upset," she continued, adding that her daughter often throws tantrums, as toddlers tend to do.
Whenever this happens, the mom tries to remove her from the room — especially if she's being too loud — but apparently, that's also not enough for grandma.
Recently, all of the drama came to a head
"[My mother] thinks that I shouldn't bring my daughter around anymore," the poster shared, adding that her mother thinks the toddler is just "too much to handle."
"She says my 5-year-old can come, but not her sister."
Now the mom's stuck between a rock and a hard place, and feels majorly judged by her own family.
"Is this fair? Am I unreasonable for being very upset about this?" she asked Reddit. "I'd understand if my daughter was being violent and I wasn't doing anything about it, but that's not the case."
A lot of people on Reddit were shocked by the story
In their responses, they tried to assure the mother that there was nothing wrong with her child or her parenting — and that grandma's behavior seemed to be far worse than her toddler's.
"Sounds like a normal toddler to me," one person told the mother. "Grandma may just not be up for babysitting, which is fair, but you definitely don't need to separate your kids or tolerate her calling your normal toddler 'bad.' That's not okay at all of grandma."
"Your child is growing up with siblings and in a stage where they have relationships with 'things' and sharing is a big deal," another person added. "You're doing it right. Your sister's child might not be very socially adept for the lack of peer interaction."
"Blowing raspberries is aggressive?" someone else asked. "She's 2. If your mom can't deal with a 2-year-old being a 2-year-old, then I wouldn't bring either
Others tried to play devil's advocate on this one
"Reading between the lines here, it sounds like your mom is saying it is too much for her to handle both your toddler and your sister's [child] at the same time," one person noted. "And since your sister lives with her, having the 14-month old around is unavoidable."
That said, "It sucks that she can't just come out and say 'this overwhelms me' rather than blaming a 2-year old for acting like a 2-year old," they said, before admitting that "there might also be an element of favoritism there."
"Grandma can put any rules within her home — it's obviously her right even if it's not comfortable for you," someone else said. "My younger daughter was too active [around a family friend's child] when she was around 2. After several attempts to improve her behavior, I had to isolate her from that kid."
"It obviously made me uncomfortable and I had to plan how to cope with both kids," the mother continued. But "the good news is that in [about six months] my daughter had changed and they have started playing together quite peacefully."
Ultimately, most people had compassion for what the mom is going through
"I'm 12 years into parenthood with two conditional grandmothers," one mom shared. "It's not worth your heartache."
That said, if Grandma doesn't want the 2-year-old around, then she doesn't get the 5-year-old either, the person declared.
"It's not one or the other, it's both or none," they went on. "Otherwise, it will drive a massive wedge between your kids that you won't be able to undo over time. Kids know when they're not wanted or accepted."
"I'm very sorry your mom is behaving this way," the commenter added. "It's not at all OK. Hugs."
The mother hasn't returned to share an update on the situation
She has, however, responded to many of the comments offering empathy or advice about her situation. She also responded to those who pointed out that the 14-month-old is just months away from entering their own "Terrible Twos," and maybe then the grandmother will see how normal this all is.
"The funny thing is, he already hits, too," the poster said of her nephew. "He's come over and whacked my 2-year-old a couple times. He understands less than she does, sure, but I think there will be more for my sister to deal with in that sense as he gets older."
While the poster is respecting her mom's wishes for now, and not bringing her toddler (or her 5-year-old) around, she still doesn't think it's fair.
"I truly don't understand it," she shared. And "if this is the beginning of singling my daughter out, I will not accept that."
Hopefully, this mama sticks to her guns — and her mother starts to realize that she's been a bit too hard on the little girl.
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