Wife Confronts Husband After Finding His Christmas Gift List And Discovering Hers Is The Cheapest Of The Bunch

Christmas is a time of giving, and one of the special parts is exchanging gifts with friends and family. While there are no hard and fast rules on how much to spend on someone's gift, it's more than likely that people put the most effort into their partner's gift.

But in this recent story from Reddit, one woman got a rude shock when she learned that her new husband had spent over $5,000 on gifts to his coworkers, friends and relatives, while her gift was worth a meager $20. Shocked, she decided to confront him, but this only escalated the situation and ended up with them not speaking to each other. So she took her story to Reddit's popular "Am I the A**hole" subreddit to ask people whether she was in the wrong to confront him about it. Let's take a look.

Posted days ago, the woman explained her situation. She and her husband are in their mid-30s and both have "decent jobs." Married for nearly one year but together for three, this Christmas would be their first one as a married couple. She added that each year for the holidays they set aside "separate budgets for gifts."

"He uses his own money to buy gifts and I do the same," she writes.

She revealed her husband made a list of everyone he wanted to buy gifts for this year and the woman inadvertently stumbled upon it, so she took a look out of curiosity. But what she found shocked her — at the top of the list were the presents for her husband's friends and coworkers, which totaled over $5,000. Eventually, when she got to her name, she saw that her gift was only worth $20.

The woman listed some of the presents that her husband had bought for his friends and coworkers and these included a $600 wristwatch for a colleague, $900 worth of workout gear for his friend and a $250 bracelet for his sister-in-law. She said:

"There was more but that's all I could remember. What made me upset was that when I got to my name I saw that he bought me a $20 something kitchen spoon set (stainless steel)."

She said she was "too shocked to ignore this" and ended up having a confrontation with him about it. But instead of giving a reason that explained the situation, her husband argued with her. She wrote:

"He argued that A. It's his money he's the one paying so I should not control that. And B. His co workers/friends are important to him and he's known them for ages. C. He said a gift should (b)e appreciated no matter what it cost."

The woman added:

"I argued that he was disrespecting me and dismissing my feeling with the gift he chose to get me not to mention that I spend a lot of money for his gifts to buy him his favorite shoe/gaming brands but he got upset and said I was acting like an ungrateful, spoiled brat and urged me to get rid of this attitude and accept what I'm giving."

Ultimately, the argument escalated and the couple stopped talking to each other. The woman added that her husband thought she was being "ridiculous with (her) overreaction and should stop it." Unsure if she did overreact, she took to Reddit to ask people to weigh in on the situation.
The users of Reddit didn't hold back in giving the woman their opinions, and overwhelmingly they concluded that she was "not the a**hole" in the situation. The most popular comment — which was upvoted over 45,000 times — said:

"There's still time to return his gifts and get him a $20 gift card to the local home improvement store."

Another user tried to see how the gift the husband had bought could potentially work if she was a collector. They wrote:

"Ya, it would be one thing if she was a spoon collector and while (cheap) this set was unique and interesting or just something she (really) wanted. He's putting no thought into it."

Others pointed out that something was amiss if he spent so little on his partner, who is generally the most important person in someone's life, and so much on everyone else. One comment read:

"I’m stunned reading that the most important person in his life is worth less thoughtfulness than a coworker, which can come and go. In most marriages, assets are considered jointly and spending decisions are made jointly as well within a certain limit. His Xmas spending, even with a huge income, seems very excessive to me….and kinda inappropriate/unprofessional especially if they can’t reciprocate on that level…"

Meanwhile, other users pointed out that they'd "question if the co-worker is just a co-worker," considering how much he spent on them. Many others said that the incident was a "red flag" and warned the woman to be aware of behavior like that.

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