They bob around, minding their own business, occasionally with a slim trail of faeces following them - which to be honest is quite entertaining the first time.
However, you can't pet it (well, you could, but I wouldn't recommend it) they generally don't do any tricks and they eat little pukey shit flakes for breakfast, lunch and tea.
The thing is, this woman loves her pet fish. She fucking LOVES it.
He accidentally swallowed a pebble and it was stuck in the back of his throat. His owner rushed him to The Brisbane Bird and Exotics Veterinary Services centre where they determined that he'd have to be put under anesthetic to have the pebble removed - but it'd cost $500 AUD (or £283). And Conquer was only $12 (less than a tenner) when she bought him.
They took pictures to document the nervy procedure.
Okay so here it goes...
Anyway, the fin-tastic procedure was a success.
Buzzfeed spoke to the centre, who said: "It really came down to the fact that his mum is so observant. Had she not noticed the subtle changes in her pet, he would surely have starved.
"Most people wouldn't bat an eyelid spending this money on a dog, cat or child, so why would we value our beautiful exotic pets any less."
Who needs dogs, ay?!