Megatsunami Could Be Heading To Britain According To UCL Scientist

*I hope you're enjoying the football lads, because a MEGATSUNAMI COULD BE COMING OUR WAY IN THE NEXT THREE YEARS! A MEGATSUNAMI!

The 'monster wave' could be higher than Nelson's Column, the Daily Star reports. What an odd comparison. A MEGANELSON!

Anyway, here's an image of Nelson's column, to put this into some kind of perspective.
So why, how and when will this MEGATSUNAMI happen?

When... in the next three years, or perhaps in thousands of years, or perhaps never, brought on by a volcanic eruption, according to Dr. Simon Day, of the Institute for Risk and Disaster Reduction at University College London, a MEGAUNIVERSITY.

The last time that the volcano erupted was in the 1970s, which means it could soon erupt again. However, this means, in reality (my words), 'fuck all will happen'.

How... well a rock (a MEGAROCK), will crash into the sea off the island of La Palma in the Canary Islands, subsequently making a MEGAWAVE.
This MEGAROCK is reportedly twice the size of the Isle of Man! So yeah, that's a big rock.

Oh, and the MEGATSUNAMI is also going to travel faster than a jet (REPORTEDLY), so the apocalypse will be swift. MEGASWIFT!

La Palma, off the coast of west Africa and one of the Canary Islands, could well bring MEGAMISERY to the world.

As well as waves as high as 16-23 feet hitting UK shores, the United States could see waves of up to 160 feet (what's this, The Day After Tomorrow?), and could go as far as 12 miles inland. Enjoy your waffles and syrup, lads.
It'll also devastate countries such as Brazil, apparently.

But Britain is certainly not immune to the MEGATSUNAMI!

Why... yeah, so why would this rock twice the size of the Isle of Man suddenly collapse? According to Dr. Simon, if the Cumbre Vieja volcano were to erupt, it could cause a series of consequences - MEGAVOLCANO-MEGATSUNAMI-MEGASADNESS, as part of the mountain could crumble into the sea.

Presumably in some attempt to salvage his career, Day then stressed this could happen: "Some time in the next several thousand years" as Cumbre Vieja is "more than halfway through its period of pre-collapse instability."
Again, after somewhat perplexingly talking to the Daily Star, which occasionally has a tendency to exaggerate, Day further tried to salvage his career:

"The 'will a collapse occur?' dice are rolled about once every 70 years, and maybe once every 50 years at the moment.

"We do not know the probability of a collapse, nor if and by how much it increases with each eruption.

"However, the distinctive reconfiguration of the volcano during the last several thousand years is similar to those that have occurred before previous collapses at La Palma and other volcanoes.

"The key thing is that this is a low-probability but high-consequence hazard."

So it probably won't ever happen. And I believed we were in for a MEGASHITTIME.

Now I've seen Elijah Wood survive this before in Deep Impact, so I know what to do when La Palma's volcano erupts. Find a hill, unlike this bloke.
More unconfirmed reports also show that Sharknado could actually happen, with great whites coming to a town near you.

Let's hope Fin Shepard is on hand.

*Don't worry, a MEGATSUNAMI will not be coming and Dr. Simon may think again before he speaks out.

Main image credit: DreamWorks

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