'He's having you on mate, there's no chance someone could do that many pingers over so many years, you gullible prick', I hear you say.
Well you'd be wrong, because that's exactly what one man - who was subject to a study by consultants from the addiction centre at St George's Medical School, London back in 2006 - managed.
The subject of the study's name was kept confidential, so he was only named as 'Mr A', although it might have been more accurate to have called him Mr E.
According to the report in the scientific journal Psychosomatics, Mr A started taking drugs when he was 21.
For the first two years his use was averaging five pills per weekend. Slowly this developed into doing at least half a pill a day. This escalated into one pill, then three, then five. Every single day. At the peak of his drug taking, the man was taking an estimated 25 pills every day. This went on for four years.
One of my main questions at this point is how he was able to afford it - that would probably set him back at least £50 quid per day, and it's hard to imagine anyone holding down a full-time job while they're constantly off their nut.
'You wanna send me those figures over Mr A?'
'Yeah, man, just one second. Just give me a second man. Chill with all those figure. Cos it's just you're like my best mate man, I ever told you that? Why don't we ever talk about that shit. There's just like this connection between us. Love, you feel me? Fucking hell - you feel me?'
'Yeah, just get those figures over...'
Anyway, he got off the drug after having several severe collapses at parties. However, for the next few months he still felt as if he was under the drug, in spite of the fact he was consigned to bed.
His condition got worse from there. He began to experience recurrent tunnel vision as well as other issues such as paranoia, hallucinations and muscle rigidity. He also suffered from severe short-term memory problems, similar to those of a long-term alcoholic.
As there was no history of mental health problems in his family, doctors concluded that his unique condition was a direct result of his intense ecstasy use.
"This was an exceptional case. His long-term memory was fine but he could not remember day to day things - the time, the day, what was in his supermarket trolley," Dr Kouimtsidis told the Guardian. "More worryingly, he did not seem aware himself that he had these memory problems."
It probably won't surprise you that he was also a heavy weed smoker. He was encouraged to smoke less and his paranoia and hallucinations disappeared and his anxiety got better, but his memory and concentration problems remained.
If this was all tl;dr for you, basically the lad did shit loads of MD and he was mangled. Moral of the story, don't get mangled.
Featured image credit: PA Images
Source: The LAD Bible