It's not enough that there's loads of arachnids that are actually harmless, but still scary, there's a whole host of other 'false' ones that are swanning about just to fuck up everyone's day.
Apparently, a spider called Zoropsis spinimana - more commonly known as the Spiny False Wolf-Spider - are on our shores, and coming into our fucking homes.
"This spider is large enough to be intimidating, and is one of the very few spiders in Europe that can penetrate human skin with their 'chelicarae' and produce a painful bite," the magazine said in its latest edition. "The size, appearance and house-dwelling preference of this species mean that it can hardly be overlooked."
So far the species has been found in central London and East Grinstead, West Sussex.
Source : The LAD Bible