The Worst Form Of Family Torture
Isn't forcing someone to talk to a distant relative on the phone against the Geneva Conventions or something?
Coming Up Short
She gave you life. The least you could do is give her $2.36 to cover the groceries. But still.
Watch Your Words
Sometimes "hi" is just the wrong thing to say.
Shopping With Mom
Just play dumb until you're all checked out and in the parking lot.
Moms Be Talkin'
Putting a human being on a leash is demeaning. This is bad parenting.
When you don't have a friend in the world, you've always got your Grandma.
Dat Family Face
If it weren't for fake family smiles, most families would have disbanded years ago. It's what keeps people together.
Parents Just Don't Understand
If your parents don't ask for your help with technology yet, just wait. The older they get, the more you'll become their personal Geek Squad.
Jesus Is My Copilot
Who knew Jesus wore an American flag shirt and was shaped like a Lego man?
Guests Coming Over
How does closing the door to your room not solve this problem?
When you're hiding candy and find out you're out of edamame.
Say It Ain't So
Devastation is an understatement when you hear your mom talking shit on you.
The Real Deal
Not all parents do this, but the good ones do.
Mom's Magic Potion
If you drink enough Listerine out of a decanter you're going to see some Harry Potter shit too. Or just get a really bad stomachache.
It Never Stops
What's cooler than being cool? When you can finally hang up the phone. Lend me some sugar.