“Have you ever done anything of particular merit?” Asked St. Peter.
“Well, I can think of one thing,” said the cowboy.
“On a trip to the Bad Hills of South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who were harassing a young woman. I told them to leave her alone, but they wouldn’t listen. So, I walked up to the biggest, baddest, most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, now back off or I’ll kick the s— out of every last one of you.”
Saint Peter was impressed, and asked “When did this happen?”
“Couple of minutes ago.”